Week 28 The Break is Over, But Where’s The Spring?

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Really, no joke. It’s cold, gray and has been snowing on and off all week. I feel bad for all the people who foolishly – or optimistically – put away all their winter gear already. Ours are still out. All the coats, boots, hats, mittens and scarves, not to mention the sweaters and longjohns. As we come to the end of the week after spring break, the date is April 12, 2007 and the temperature outside today was 39 degrees.

I am reluctant to return Hayden to school on Monday afternoon. It was so nice to have him home all last week and I really don’t feel like being bothered with the whole school thing any more this year. But I take him anyway. By car. We have filled the morning with errands and I feel some irritation at having to be back for his talking doctor appointment at 11:15 and then school following. Hayden draws a picture with his talking doctor. It is entitled “Things that make me feel safe.” On top of the tower are the words “my family” and right beneath that it what appears to be the largest area of this totem of words is the word “Mommy.” It goes on down until his final safe place, “My car.” I am not able to truly question the TD about this chart of sorts because Hayden is right there showing it to me. All she tells me is that Hayden has been feeling a little bit unsafe lately. Well, whatever this means, at least he knows that Mommy is on the top of the list of people who keep him safe. After all, this is my number one priority job you know.

After school I want there to be something to do, but there isn’t. So we do early dinner and early bed and climb in all together to watch Little People, Big World and some other things on TLC. I like this kind of Monday night.

Alec has Tuesday off for his spring break. We have invited his friend Lauren over to play but her visiting cousin has come down with a cold so she can’t come. We decide instead to stay home and play. And then take Hayden to school. After school I am chatting with one of the moms when I spot the cute dad, whom I have not seen in weeks. I give a quick goodbye to my friend and the kids and I take off. I call his name twice before he turns around and looks for the source. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in three weeks!” I say. He is smiling his usual broad grin. He is really cute. I hand him a piece of paper. “What’s this?” “My number,” I say. He smiles and thanks me.

We hang out and do the reading from Hayden’s backpack. The new homework, now that they have perfected the recognizing and writing of all letters A to Z, is to have three books to read each night. One is for Hayden to read to me, and the other two are for me to read to Hayden. The book he reads is very basic and requires little or no help from me. The two I read have been, so far, books we already have and have read a million times. I am not sure about this assignment and all I know is that we have been instructed to take it very seriously. And to return the books the next day. So we read. The children’s father comes after dinner and plays with them in the playroom while I freshen up and then head out to lend a hand in the local Alderman’s campaign for re-election. I expect to be out for an hour. I don’t get home until 10pm and by this time I am furious at the Alderman’s opponent. I email all my friends to be sure they know who to vote for. And then I go to bed.

Alec wakes me on Wednesday morning asking, “I am going play soccer today?” Hayden tells him that he is not and he starts to cry. “Yes you are,” I mumble from under the sheets. I am tired. So very tired. Whether I go to bed at 9:00 or midnight I am tired every morning. Too tired. Probably because long before it’s time to actually wake up Alec does his “let’s feel Mommy” routine, whereby he rubs my back and tries to rub my tummy and can’t lie still and drives me nuts…. And Hayden with the cold feet because he refuses to keep his footy jammies on is running on my legs. “Stop!” I yell. How is a Mommy supposed to get her beauty rest? Apparently this mommy is not getting any because she – I mean I – look like winter has dragged on way past its time. Oh, right, it has. And we are all depressed. Seriously. It’s gray outside. And freezing. And it’s been slushy and raining and damp. We had sandals on a few weeks ago. We have long johns on again. There is a bad attitude going around all over the city and mine is showing up on my face. The face that has broken out into teenage acne is a very bad way. So this morning we step out into some sort of rain/slush storm and drive to a new class for Alec. Soccer! He is very excited. Except when we get there he won’t join the class without me. So there I am with a crowd of 3- and 4-year-olds running back and forth across the gym, jumping up and down and pulling Alec along with me. I don’t know if I look like SuperMommy or a super idiot. The coaches invite Hayden to join Alec and so the two of them take the class together. Alec is a great kicker. I am truly impressed but not at all surprised. Coach Ed and Coach Emily are great and the class looks like a ton of fun. Luckily I am able to sit on the bleachers and observe, as I am winded from my 5 minutes of warm up with Alec at the beginning of class. After class I ask him if he wants to come back next week. He very enthusiastically tells me that he does. I ask him if he will come without Hayden and then his tune changes. He no longer wants to participate in this class. I don’t understand this side of my child. Hayden is all about trying new things like this. I have never had to coax him into a class. But Alec is terrified. And while I sympathize, I don’t quite understand his fear.

I take the boys to lunch at Potbelly despite the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches they have to eat the minute soccer is over. Hayden eats well. Alec doesn’t like the mustard on his sandwich, which he can now say. No more “hammich,” one of my favorite of his words. In recent weeks he has replaced “frazit” with the proper “favorite,” “hound” with “hind” for “behind,” and several other newly pronounced words have replaced his super-cute Alec-isms. It makes me sad. Though in all inevitability it’s cute now but none of this would be cute if he were still using these words in kindergarten.

After lunch we drop Hayden off at school and come home. I am in the mood to try that New York City Ballet workout DVD that I ordered a couple months ago. I unwrap it and take off my jeans. No point stretching them out. I just want to stretch me out. Alec hunkers down on the sofa to watch this video. I explain that he should get down and do what I am doing. He wants to know why I am doing what they are doing on tv. He is amused. He gets in my way. He lays his head on my stomach while I am trying to do some sit-ups, which are killing my back even without his help. He tells me this is not a kids video and asks why we can’t watch Nanny McFee. He drives me absolutely nuts. He does try a few moves but mostly he is both irritated and irritating. So much for getting my butt back up where it belongs before bikini season (which, based on the weather, is not coming any time soon). I can’t finish the workout because I have to go pick up Hayden but when I finish I have a head ache and I’m very thirsty. I guess I must have gotten some workout, even with my little helper guy.

I eat candy.

Since the FTK class switched Hayden’s class time from 3:45 to 3:30 he has yet to be dismissed from school on time, making us late every week for the past 4 weeks. The kindergarten is out in record lateness today, after the 1st and 2nd graders. From now on I think I will go in and get him at 3:15 in order to get him to FTK by 3:30.

By the time I get Hayden home at 6:30, I am famished, he’s exhausted and my mom is the phone with my 1986 prom date. His mom, one of my mom’s best friends, is suddenly about to die. We sit down to dinner: steak Diane, mashed sweet potatoes and green beans. Well, one out of three isn't bad. Alec naps thru dinner and Hayden inhales the steak.

This morning my mom’s friend died. I haven’t told Hayden yet. He knows her but I don’t want to have a long discussion about this until the day of the funeral, which will be sometime early this week. We plan to go out this morning but we are moving too slowly so instead, when Alec asks for “40 minutes” more to play I grant him and Hayden the rest of the morning. I clean up while they play and I talk on the phone with one of the moms from Hayden’s class. I’ve already prepared lunch to take out with us so I spread out a mat on the living room floor and we share a PBJ picnic. I tell Hayden I don’t feel like taking him to school and ask him if he wants to stay home. He says he does. But I can’t be that irresponsible, especially as tomorrow actually is a day off for something (I don’t know what – probably “professional development,” which I assume at this point means “filling out the report cards.”)

Alec doesn’t want to go out to play without Hayden this afternoon. He requests a trip to Target. We don’t need anything there. Yes, he reminds me, we do. We need cushions for the kitchen chairs, because he fell off his this morning. “On my head.” He wants seat belts too, but I don’t know of any chair seatbelts. We roam around Target looking for StarWars stuff and Starbucks and chatting with several friends and their children, whom we run into. Target is a popular meeting place, it seems. We met my 2nd grade teacher in the parking lot on Tuesday and we chatted so long that Alec fell asleep in my arms and the weather went form warm-ish and sunny to chilly and cloudy. I feel feverish and tired but I feel better after we get Starbucks and I take off my coat. $53 and 2 hours later we have new Alec-sized Legos, two bright red cushions for our kitchen chairs, and a few other semi-necessities. Alec is asleep by the time I get to school for Hayden. I spot the cute dad as we drive off to go home. I wonder why he has not used my phone number yet. I am a little bummed.

Our friends from Wisconsin arrive minutes after we get home. Our children play extremely well together. Her older girl is nine and she is the smartest kid I have ever met. Her little one is Alec’s twin. She is exactly 2 weeks older than Alec. The kids play and my friend and I talk about all manner of kid stuff. We order Thai food and for reasons I am unclear of, I cannot stop eating. I eat and eat and eat and when my friend thinks I am cleaning up Alec’s plate I am actually eating his leftovers. They stay til just before 7 and we clean up and I put the boys to bed. Which is why it’s so confounding to me that Alec is rolling around in my bed now at 9:35 p.m. And why am I still so darn hungry? I puffed out my belly tonight and showed the kids how I look about 4 months pregnant. I think the kids are disappointed when I tell them that, no, there is not really a baby in my belly. Sure looks like it tho! I absolutely must throw out the rest of the Easter candy tomorrow.

I look like some weird mom today. I don’t know who dressed me. Seriously. I thought I would look ok, but in truth I think I had on a serious dork outfit today. Teal cords (don’t ask me why I have teal cords! I can only defend myself by saying: $13 sale at Old Navy last year), purple rainbow colored socks (which, when Hayden was a baby I thought somehow defined me during our PlayGroups), a black long sleeve t-shirt and my BeeGees t-shirt, which is horribly wrinkled due to having been washed in the sink last week. And I have on burgundy spring clogs. Yep. Mom looks like a dork. And I don’t feel like caring enough to change my clothes at all. Besides, nothing else is even clean.

Friday is a day off.